In the movie Big Hero 6 a group of youth come together to fight evil. Unfortunately their ‘powers’ are too new and they haven’t quite grown into the abilities and extreme abilities they now process. In a bind, and knowing not how to get out of the situation, the main character, Hiro Hamata discovers that what they’re doing isn’t working and sees a solution to the problem while feeling all is lost. He tells the group “Find your way around the problem”.
This one line gave the others permission to look for a solution, totally different than what SHOULD have been done, and they get out of the trouble.
I think there are some steps to take to find your way around a problem. Not every solution will result in finality of the issue. You won’t always be happy with the outcome. So get creative, think outside the problem and don’t let ‘normal’ get in the way.
First, define the problem. What is it that’s causing the struggle?
Second, identify the habits keeping those problems from being solved. these could be ‘good’ or ‘bad’ habits. But they’re still habits that are bringing about a ‘problem’.
Third, find solutions. Make a list, write every possible solution down. Implement one, then another.
Fourth, if those solutions don’t work, find a way around them. Get creative. Those solutions didn’t work? What’s a way you could go around the problem without having to deal directly with the problem? Think driving around the scene of an accident instead of driving right through it (take another road? drive up on the curb? avoid the area? Walk? )
Example:
Problem: I am a binge eater. I love food. I can’t stop myself.
Real Talk: Your view of food and perspective on how to control or not control it need to relax and change.
Habits: I’ve restricted my foods for years. Have been in a mindset of scarcity around food (I may not get it again), therefore eat ’til I’m miserable.
Head on Solution: Stay away from ‘trigger foods’. Don’t keep them in the house.
This inevitably leads to feelings of scarcity and when I DO get to eat the food I go crazy on it because I’m not sure when I’ll be ‘allowed’ to have it again.
Way around the Problem: allow ‘trigger foods’ every day; pre program them.
Sometimes those pre programmed foods are eaten, sometimes they’re not. Sometimes I’ll have a part of the treat and sometimes all.
It’s no longer living in deprivation. It’s living in abundance (there will always be more). Giving myself permission to eat foods I enjoy makes them normal and not as crave-worthy.
I end up enjoying my daily foods and feel satisfied without the guilt and cycle starting over because I don’t crave foods as often since they’re part of my daily intake.
Find your way around the problem. It’s not always so cut and dry, I understand. But if you can reframe your thoughts and find this to be a creative outlet, or allow yourself to have fun with it, you may just enjoy it.
Sometimes it is tho. Often, having permission to do the thing is all you need to make the decision that relieves the problem.
But I would urge you, if facing the problem head on isn’t working, look for ways around it. You might just find a better solution than you’d bargained for.